What if people loved others as much as themselves
You might wonder what the world would be like if people loved each other as much as they loved themselves. If people treated others the same way they treat themselves everyone would be happy and would have many friends. Everyone would help people who need it and there would be no sadness. There would be no fighting and war. Plus people would not be unkind to each other. This would be great because everyone would be at peace, and everyone would also be happy and have many other people to help them and be their friends.
You did a very good job I really liked your hook it made me want to read the rest of it. I noticed that you used the word and a few times, specifically I would take out an and on the conclusion sentence but apart from that it was good.
ReplyDeleteThat was a good paragraph. I like how you had details on that topic. One thing that you could of done to make it better is to add a little more detail. Other than that it was good. (:
ReplyDelete